Schmuckbild: Hände von Menschen in Diskussion
Preise und Erfahrungen des Mediationsbüro Einigungshilfe

Finding Solutions Together by Facilitative Mediation

Resolving Conflicts

Using mediation and other effective methods of conflict management, we offer support in resolving conflicts, in German, English and French, throughout Germany and Europe. As certified and licensed mediators, we accompany all parties involved through the conflict to achieve  tailor-made and sustainable agreements: effectively actionable on the merits, sustainably clarifying on the relationship level.

  • Customized agreements instead of long disputes
  • Sustainable solutions instead of rushed bogus compromises 
  • Authentic understanding for each other instead of win/lose
  • Confidential conflict solution instead of public court proceedings

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Mediation in 5 phases

The process of successful conflict resolution

Mediation is the only process for resolving conflicts that works with both parties and on both, the relationship and the factual level. In a structure process each party gets their own voice and listens to the others until everyone has understood what is actually needed: what lies beneath the surface in terms of understandable wishes, interests and needs? On this basis, it is easier to find new solutions using suitable methods and to part ways being satisfied.

Contrary to a court or arbitration tribunal, the solution remains entirely in the hands of the parties involved: We mediators do not interfere with the content, but guide you safely through the process. Even with many parties involved, even in very complex cases, even in highly escalated conflicts - for solutions that last.

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Finally cooperating again

The high success of mediation

90% of our mediations are successful; in the area of business mediation even 95% - this is what clients tell us in long-term feedback after six months.

At what point is a mediation successful? Many mediations end with a binding final agreement, which can also be made legally enforceable. In other mediations, e.g. in workplace conflicts and family conflicts, the aim is more likely to be further cooperation or continued coexistence; in this case, verbal commitments or documentation of the key points from the mediation are often adequate. Either way, we support you in reaching agreements on the factual level as well as on the relationship level so that the results are sustainable.

"We would like to thank you once again for your mediation support! We would never have thought that we would not only get the inheritance settled, but also find each other as a family - with all the ups and downs"
 

First Steps towards a Clarifying Conversation

How to Start a Mediation?

How do I start a mediation process? Usually, one party to the conflict or, in the case of conflicts in organizations, their manager or the HR department contacts us first. In many cases, we will then talk to the other parties to the dispute. On this basis, we can then write a concrete offer so that you can make a well-founded decision in this case.

However, you can contact us at any stage of a conflict, in any phase of conflict management, to discuss the possibilities of mediation and the next step - regardless of whether it is just "a tense situation", a conflict is very virulent or a court has already been involved.

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How long does mediation take?

Mediative conflict management saves time, money and, above all, unnecessary stress compared to conflicts that continue to boil or court proceedings. But of course, mediation is also an investment of time, money and energy that should pay off. We will gladly try to provide you with the essential information you need to make a decision; however, a lot can only be clarified in a consultation, which we are happy to offer you free of charge by phone.

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We have indicated the typical time required when presenting the individual methods. In some cases, you as a manager will also have to make your own preparations and may need to hold preliminary discussions with the team.

Mediation is often the quickest method when it comes to resolving conflicts. In mediation, you control the duration of the process yourself.

A typical timeframe for an inheritance mediation or a limited conflict in the workplace, for example, is one and a half days plus a half-day follow-up after some time. More complex conflicts that require a conflict management process start with a separate conflict analysis as a first step. On the basis of this, we will prepare a specific offer for you.

Family mediation, e.g. for separation and divorce conflicts, can take place in different ways. In our work, sessions lasting two to four hours have proved successful; an all-in settlement often requires several sessions over several weeks in order to have time to develop and test ideas and gather necessary information.

How much does a mediation cost?

Our work is charged according to hourly and daily rates. For conflict resolution in business and employment, we typically charge a daily rate of € 2,000 to € 2,400 (net). Family mediations are charged at an hourly rate of € 150,- to € 250,-, depending on the specific case (incl. VAT). Discounts are available for conflicts in administration, NGOs, associations and other non-profit organizations. If fully trained junior mediators are employed, the hourly rate is also reduced.

If teams and groups want to find a solution, it is often expedient to work in pairs; the costs for this vary. Conflict and management coaching (for individual clients) is charged at € 200 to € 300 per hour.

The comparatively low cost of mediation is balanced by significant potential savings - when you consider, for example, how much working time managers spend dealing with recurring conflicts with and between their employees, or the costs that can be incurred for legal fees and court costs in the event of a dispute. Mediation is almost always cheaper than court proceedings and the result is more satisfying. We will be happy to consider with you which approach offers the best prospects in your particular case. You can then estimate what benefits and costs you can expect.

How can the high success rate of mediation be explained?

Success achieved through mediation 

Almost all mediation participants report in retrospect after six months that the mediation was a gain for them.

In our experience, more than two thirds of all mediations end with a joint written final agreement.

Ultimately, the fundamental willingness of all people to cooperate is crucial. When the "clutter" of misunderstandings and (understandable!) wounds and insinuations is cleared up, the actual interests of the parties involved, which are behind their sometimes initially incomprehensible demands and behavior, become comprehensible.

When everyone wins: Methods for a win-win

The initial demands or concrete ideas of those involved often seem incompatible. However, if you ask further questions and look at the underlying needs, new possibilities for achieving the actual goal become apparent. These are often entirely compatible with the goals of the other parties involved. This effect is what is meant when the literature talks about "win-win" or "increasing the size of the cake".

Mediation also works on a deeper level: the opportunity to make yourself understood to the other party, to be heard with your own interests and at the same time to understand each other better, takes the pressure off your relationship. This often puts it on a new footing, so that you can not only live together successfully, but also enjoy living, working and meeting together again. We support this mutual understanding with our questioning and moderation techniques on the one hand, and with our presence as human beings on the other.

"Who gets to sit at the front?" 

A more detailed example based on an inheritance mediation conducted by Jürgen von Oertzen can be found in GEO Wissen – den Menschen verstehen: Warum wir streiten und Harmonie nicht immer gut ist, Mai 2017, S. 88 ff.

The scientific background is described, for example, in Mnookin, R. H., S. R. Peppet, et al. (2000). Beyond Winning. Cambridge (Mass.), The Belknap Press of Harvard University.

Is mediation appropriate for my conflict?

Mediation is appropriate for your conflict if you cannot make progress in a direct discussion or if a direct discussion is not possible, but nevertheless

 

  • decisions need to be made jointly on conflict issues
  • it should still be possible to continue to cooperate after the conflict has ended
  • the decision should not be made by a court or a superior and you want to remain in control of it yourself

Mediation can help you if you want to resolve small recurring disagreements in the long term, as well as if you want to resolve a serious conflict. The only requirement is that all parties involved are willing to talk each other.

Mediation is suitable for both family and organizational contexts and for any industry. The overriding goal remains the same:

It is always about bringing people back into tolerable, ideally even sympathetic contact so that you can become effective together - we are the experts for this.

 

How do I convince the other parties involved?

Mediation requires the willingness of all parties involved to participate, i.e. above all: to start talking. This is not always easy. But at least you have something to offer: Obviously, the resolution of the conflict and a good relationship with precisely these other parties is very important to you, and you are prepared to initiate mediation to achieve this. And your conflict partners will certainly also benefit from mediation - talk to them!

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Mad or Bad

It is quite typical for conflicts that we perceive the other party as malicious and/or mentally ill. This is described in the literature under the heading "mad or bad": Given the behaviour we observe in the other party, it is difficult to see that they would be "normal", that they would act rationally or even - hard to imagine - that they would be willing to cooperate in principle. And it would probably be of little use to you if we tried to convince you here that this also applies to your conflict partner. Mediation gives you the chance to find out for yourself - and indeed, in almost all mediations, misunderstandings can be clarified and mutual interests made clear to such an extent that more becomes visible of the other party and the simple explanation "mad or bad" is no longer needed. You can find an example of this in an intercultural context  here.

Is trust a prerequisite for mediation? Generally speaking: No.

"I no longer trust her" usually means above all: I am no longer prepared to make any advance payments in any shape or form because I no longer have any trust (= feeling), as the other party has "gambled it away". From this narrative, i.e. if you tell it like this, it logically follows that the other party is to blame and has to move, because I can't, due to a lack of trust - see above.

It's just stupid if the other party sees it the same way: Both make the other responsible, so they are at each other's mercy, and any conflict resolution becomes impossible. If participation in mediation is seen as a "proof of trust", then mediation is not even possible.

The situation can be resolved through reframing, a new narrative: I say goodbye to the idea of trust as a feeling that I "just have" or don't have. Instead, I perceive trust as a service that I may not want to provide at the moment, e.g. because I prefer to be cautious due to my previous experiences. But I can also decide to trust anyway. This is then a great achievement (not a feeling!) on the part of the person who first gives trust. And unavoidable if there is to be a return to rapprochement.

But above all, "trust" is a decision that becomes negotiable: What do I have to do for you to trust me again?

It is often only small steps that make it easier to give trust - for example, agreeing to mediation.